GOWNS

mexicangirlfriend:

I want to curbstomp any white guys that fetishize latinas. Its not flattering, ever fuckboy.

sup @ the white dude who just called his gf his “sweet little senorita” in his facebook status which i then had to read and have in my brain toay

Source: mexicangirlfriend

nitanahkohe replied to your post: anonymous said:How do you talk to…

Maybe they are a person who is now scared of having their photos leaked, in light of recent events? And want to talk to their parents about it? I think that’s what they maybe meant lol

is that what u meant anon??

How do you talk to your parents about the celebrity hacking in a way that doesn't make it obvious that you have sent naked photos over the internet before?

Anonymous

? you don’t have to talk to them about it. is there something you would like to talk to them about around the issue?

it’s a news item right now so i would just go with a vague “yeah that’s messed up”

unless your parents want to talk about it a lot?

i dunno man

dear gowns: i feel like i harbor very deeply rooted resentment towards my dad even though he is really not that bad a guy. this resentment ends up affecting how i act towards him and it makes me feel really guilty and like a terrible daughter and human being. my anger manifests itself as silence, deadpan responses, and being very closed off and pushing him away. but when i try hard to be nice again it feels almost like it's too late and i've pushed him too far (1/2)

Anonymous

(2/2 about dad) how do i repair this relationship? how can i stop being so reactionary towards him and more kind/open? i get emotional just thinking about it and start tearing up so it is hard for me to imagine having a successful conversation about it. a lot of the resentment has been planted in my brain by my mother (they’re divorced) from an early age and it feels really unfair. he is really not that bad and doesn’t deserve his only daughter being so cold to him.

oh also in case you are wondering, i am 21 years old and my dad is in his early 50s, i’m entering my last year of college so this isn’t an adolescent hormonal thing unfortunately (because then it would pass presumably??) and also thank you. even if you don’t answer it is a relief to send these thoughts to another human (this is about the complicated father/daughter relationship) you are deeply good in your heart and you help so many people

i think it’s a good sign that you’re thinking about your feelings in actions in such great depth. in talk therapy, the therapist encourages you to talk and tease out and braid/unbraid all the things that are troubling you in your past/present/future. you are talking through these things with yourself. this is very admirable.

(of course if you still feel lost & obscured, it might be a good idea to … look into therapists near u)

it’s interesting to me that you say “i am 21 years old … so  this isn’t an adolescent hormonal thing unfortunately”

my brother just turned 22 and he is JUST getting over his teen angst. he is starting to be more open to his family. it will probably take another year, maybe a few more years, before he starts actually answering our calls. he has no reason to resent us. he just feels a wall for some reason. none of us knows the cause of it. …i’m not sure if he himself knows the cause…

i’ll be 26 in a few weeks and i think i’m about halfway thru unpacking the ~ feelings ~ that i have about my parents. parents are very complicado

your feelings towards your dad sound kinda similar as my feelings towards my mom. it is very hard for me to communicate with my mom. there is no tangible reason for this. sometimes she will say something that is innocuous, but the way she says it makes me want to leave or hang up the phone. sometimes when i go to see her, or she comes to see me, i dread it. i like talking to my mom, i like hanging out with my mom, i think she’s really cool, and nice. but sometimes tiny things will make me want to be sarcastic towards her or shut her down. i don’t know the source of these feelings.

maybe it will just take a few more years and a few more therapists, who knows

if it helps you feel better, most people (to my knowledge) start trying to repair relationships with their parents in their 30s onward. they start to feel their own mortality more acutely, and see their parents as actual old people, and they start to forgive them (or at least tolerate them) more for the little things that used to put them off

so it’s awesome that you’re being so reflective about this now! don’t stress about it too much. you sound very conscious already. give it some time; if you continue to be as aware as you are, things will inevitably start to mend

how do u deal with a toxic roommate whose negative thought processes rub off on u and make u anti social and depressed

Anonymous

cultivate your own spaces, whether they are in your place or in other places.

find your spaces… they can be in the home, near the home, or far away (like a corner in a library, a table at a coffee shop, a park bench, a friend’s couch). find the spaces that allow you to recharge.

find the times that allow you to recharge at home. when your roommate leaves take advantage of it — take a bath, dance, exercise, cook, etc

set boundaries and enforce them. don’t let them talk to you or invade your space when you don’t want them to. there are many books in libraries and bookstores that can help you learn more about boundaries

outside of that, save up to move out and find a new place / find a new roommate. (this step sounds difficult but once you start searching on craigslist and padmapper, you will find things that are surprisingly within your budget and location; you just have to stay up on it check the sites often.) if you have a lease, look at the terms, talk to your landlord, see if there will be any obstacles to moving out or getting a new roommate.

it is really disingenuous — and harmful to other people with mental illnesses — to shift all the responsibility for your very poor behavior onto your mental illness

lovelyandbrown:

Tumblr family and friends This is Syrah. She has been missing since the 22nd of this month. Syrah is 16 years old, 5’3”, 180lbs and of African American decent. She has dark brown eyes and natural hair, which is usually worn in two strand twist or a twist out. The last time she was seen was with a large black man. She does NOT have a cell phone. The police have been contacted but were no help what so ever. Please, I urge you to share and reblog to bring awareness to her absence. If you are in the L.A./ Long Beach area in California please be keep watch. If you see her, approach her with caution. They have been spotted once since she went missing and was being aggressive and pushy with her when he noticed that someone recognized who she was. If you see her please contact Paula Shin on face book. (Click the picture to be linked to her facebook or click the link below) Thank you for your time. 
Paula Shin: https://www.facebook.com/paula.shin.10?fref=ts

lovelyandbrown:

Tumblr family and friends This is Syrah. She has been missing since the 22nd of this month. Syrah is 16 years old, 5’3”, 180lbs and of African American decent. She has dark brown eyes and natural hair, which is usually worn in two strand twist or a twist out. The last time she was seen was with a large black man. She does NOT have a cell phone. The police have been contacted but were no help what so ever. Please, I urge you to share and reblog to bring awareness to her absence. If you are in the L.A./ Long Beach area in California please be keep watch. If you see her, approach her with caution. They have been spotted once since she went missing and was being aggressive and pushy with her when he noticed that someone recognized who she was. If you see her please contact Paula Shin on face book. (Click the picture to be linked to her facebook or click the link below) Thank you for your time. 

Paula Shin: https://www.facebook.com/paula.shin.10?fref=ts

(via scrapes)

Source: lovelyandbrown

Anon I only got the message that said “2 out of 4” so can u please try again, perhaps send me a fanmail or a message with ur blog

holisticsexualhealth:

(12 min Read)
10 PRINCIPLES FOR BREAKING UP GRACEFULLY
(READ MORE)


Whatever the goal for your future relations with your ex, they need to happen organically. Forcing a friendship enters into testy territory as it can make the other feel person obligated to you and that can kick up a lot of the negative feelings leftover from the break up.
What I’ve found is that if you had a strong friendship within the relationship, that friendship will naturally emerge outside of the relationship once you’ve both moved on. In a lot of cases, it takes dating new people for both parties to relax enough to form that bond again. Other times it takes a lot of time. But if that friendship is there, it’ll eventually sprout up. Do it a favor and don’t force it.
IS TRYING TO GET BACK TOGETHER REALLY THAT HOPELESS?
I often get emails from people with their break up situation asking if it’s hopeless. Is there any chance they may end up back together?
Here’s the deal: if you get back together after one break up, it can work. But that’s assuming that one or both of you genuinely learns from the break up and alters the course of their behavior or their perception of the relationship. There are plenty of examples of couples who needed some time apart to gain perspective on the relationship and learn how to make it work. And generally, only one catastrophic break up isn’t too much to heal.
But if you’re going through break up after break up after break up — or what I sometimes refer to as the “emotional boom/bust cycle” — where you’re either in bliss or in hell, depending on which month it is, then I hate to say it, but you should probably just end it permanently.
Imagine your relationship as a beautiful china plate. If you break it once, you can put it back together with some care and effort. If you break it a second time, you can still put it back together but it takes a lot of extra time and care. But if you break it again and again and again, eventually you end up with so many pieces that you can’t put it back together. And no matter how much you liked that plate, you’re better off going and finding another one.
(READ MORE)

this is too long to reblog the whole thing but i would recommend many of my followers to read this

holisticsexualhealth:

(12 min Read)

10 PRINCIPLES FOR BREAKING UP GRACEFULLY

(READ MORE)

Whatever the goal for your future relations with your ex, they need to happen organically. Forcing a friendship enters into testy territory as it can make the other feel person obligated to you and that can kick up a lot of the negative feelings leftover from the break up.

What I’ve found is that if you had a strong friendship within the relationship, that friendship will naturally emerge outside of the relationship once you’ve both moved on. In a lot of cases, it takes dating new people for both parties to relax enough to form that bond again. Other times it takes a lot of time. But if that friendship is there, it’ll eventually sprout up. Do it a favor and don’t force it.

IS TRYING TO GET BACK TOGETHER REALLY THAT HOPELESS?

I often get emails from people with their break up situation asking if it’s hopeless. Is there any chance they may end up back together?

Here’s the deal: if you get back together after one break up, it can work. But that’s assuming that one or both of you genuinely learns from the break up and alters the course of their behavior or their perception of the relationship. There are plenty of examples of couples who needed some time apart to gain perspective on the relationship and learn how to make it work. And generally, only one catastrophic break up isn’t too much to heal.

But if you’re going through break up after break up after break up — or what I sometimes refer to as the “emotional boom/bust cycle” — where you’re either in bliss or in hell, depending on which month it is, then I hate to say it, but you should probably just end it permanently.

Imagine your relationship as a beautiful china plate. If you break it once, you can put it back together with some care and effort. If you break it a second time, you can still put it back together but it takes a lot of extra time and care. But if you break it again and again and again, eventually you end up with so many pieces that you can’t put it back together. And no matter how much you liked that plate, you’re better off going and finding another one.

(READ MORE)

this is too long to reblog the whole thing but i would recommend many of my followers to read this

(via thefemaletyrant)

Source: holisticsexualhealth

When I was in 6th grade another girl told me that if I still had baby hair that meant I was still a baby

And I actually went a few years after that wondering when my baby hair was going to turn into adult hair