GOWNS

how do u deal with a toxic roommate whose negative thought processes rub off on u and make u anti social and depressed

Anonymous

cultivate your own spaces, whether they are in your place or in other places.

find your spaces… they can be in the home, near the home, or far away (like a corner in a library, a table at a coffee shop, a park bench, a friend’s couch). find the spaces that allow you to recharge.

find the times that allow you to recharge at home. when your roommate leaves take advantage of it — take a bath, dance, exercise, cook, etc

set boundaries and enforce them. don’t let them talk to you or invade your space when you don’t want them to. there are many books in libraries and bookstores that can help you learn more about boundaries

outside of that, save up to move out and find a new place / find a new roommate. (this step sounds difficult but once you start searching on craigslist and padmapper, you will find things that are surprisingly within your budget and location; you just have to stay up on it check the sites often.) if you have a lease, look at the terms, talk to your landlord, see if there will be any obstacles to moving out or getting a new roommate.

it is really disingenuous — and harmful to other people with mental illnesses — to shift all the responsibility for your very poor behavior onto your mental illness

lovelyandbrown:

Tumblr family and friends This is Syrah. She has been missing since the 22nd of this month. Syrah is 16 years old, 5’3”, 180lbs and of African American decent. She has dark brown eyes and natural hair, which is usually worn in two strand twist or a twist out. The last time she was seen was with a large black man. She does NOT have a cell phone. The police have been contacted but were no help what so ever. Please, I urge you to share and reblog to bring awareness to her absence. If you are in the L.A./ Long Beach area in California please be keep watch. If you see her, approach her with caution. They have been spotted once since she went missing and was being aggressive and pushy with her when he noticed that someone recognized who she was. If you see her please contact Paula Shin on face book. (Click the picture to be linked to her facebook or click the link below) Thank you for your time. 
Paula Shin: https://www.facebook.com/paula.shin.10?fref=ts

lovelyandbrown:

Tumblr family and friends This is Syrah. She has been missing since the 22nd of this month. Syrah is 16 years old, 5’3”, 180lbs and of African American decent. She has dark brown eyes and natural hair, which is usually worn in two strand twist or a twist out. The last time she was seen was with a large black man. She does NOT have a cell phone. The police have been contacted but were no help what so ever. Please, I urge you to share and reblog to bring awareness to her absence. If you are in the L.A./ Long Beach area in California please be keep watch. If you see her, approach her with caution. They have been spotted once since she went missing and was being aggressive and pushy with her when he noticed that someone recognized who she was. If you see her please contact Paula Shin on face book. (Click the picture to be linked to her facebook or click the link below) Thank you for your time. 

Paula Shin: https://www.facebook.com/paula.shin.10?fref=ts

(via scrapes)

Source: lovelyandbrown

Anon I only got the message that said “2 out of 4” so can u please try again, perhaps send me a fanmail or a message with ur blog

holisticsexualhealth:

(12 min Read)
10 PRINCIPLES FOR BREAKING UP GRACEFULLY
(READ MORE)


Whatever the goal for your future relations with your ex, they need to happen organically. Forcing a friendship enters into testy territory as it can make the other feel person obligated to you and that can kick up a lot of the negative feelings leftover from the break up.
What I’ve found is that if you had a strong friendship within the relationship, that friendship will naturally emerge outside of the relationship once you’ve both moved on. In a lot of cases, it takes dating new people for both parties to relax enough to form that bond again. Other times it takes a lot of time. But if that friendship is there, it’ll eventually sprout up. Do it a favor and don’t force it.
IS TRYING TO GET BACK TOGETHER REALLY THAT HOPELESS?
I often get emails from people with their break up situation asking if it’s hopeless. Is there any chance they may end up back together?
Here’s the deal: if you get back together after one break up, it can work. But that’s assuming that one or both of you genuinely learns from the break up and alters the course of their behavior or their perception of the relationship. There are plenty of examples of couples who needed some time apart to gain perspective on the relationship and learn how to make it work. And generally, only one catastrophic break up isn’t too much to heal.
But if you’re going through break up after break up after break up — or what I sometimes refer to as the “emotional boom/bust cycle” — where you’re either in bliss or in hell, depending on which month it is, then I hate to say it, but you should probably just end it permanently.
Imagine your relationship as a beautiful china plate. If you break it once, you can put it back together with some care and effort. If you break it a second time, you can still put it back together but it takes a lot of extra time and care. But if you break it again and again and again, eventually you end up with so many pieces that you can’t put it back together. And no matter how much you liked that plate, you’re better off going and finding another one.
(READ MORE)

this is too long to reblog the whole thing but i would recommend many of my followers to read this

holisticsexualhealth:

(12 min Read)

10 PRINCIPLES FOR BREAKING UP GRACEFULLY

(READ MORE)

Whatever the goal for your future relations with your ex, they need to happen organically. Forcing a friendship enters into testy territory as it can make the other feel person obligated to you and that can kick up a lot of the negative feelings leftover from the break up.

What I’ve found is that if you had a strong friendship within the relationship, that friendship will naturally emerge outside of the relationship once you’ve both moved on. In a lot of cases, it takes dating new people for both parties to relax enough to form that bond again. Other times it takes a lot of time. But if that friendship is there, it’ll eventually sprout up. Do it a favor and don’t force it.

IS TRYING TO GET BACK TOGETHER REALLY THAT HOPELESS?

I often get emails from people with their break up situation asking if it’s hopeless. Is there any chance they may end up back together?

Here’s the deal: if you get back together after one break up, it can work. But that’s assuming that one or both of you genuinely learns from the break up and alters the course of their behavior or their perception of the relationship. There are plenty of examples of couples who needed some time apart to gain perspective on the relationship and learn how to make it work. And generally, only one catastrophic break up isn’t too much to heal.

But if you’re going through break up after break up after break up — or what I sometimes refer to as the “emotional boom/bust cycle” — where you’re either in bliss or in hell, depending on which month it is, then I hate to say it, but you should probably just end it permanently.

Imagine your relationship as a beautiful china plate. If you break it once, you can put it back together with some care and effort. If you break it a second time, you can still put it back together but it takes a lot of extra time and care. But if you break it again and again and again, eventually you end up with so many pieces that you can’t put it back together. And no matter how much you liked that plate, you’re better off going and finding another one.

(READ MORE)

this is too long to reblog the whole thing but i would recommend many of my followers to read this

(via thefemaletyrant)

Source: holisticsexualhealth

When I was in 6th grade another girl told me that if I still had baby hair that meant I was still a baby

And I actually went a few years after that wondering when my baby hair was going to turn into adult hair

I like my hairline :)

I like my hairline :)

Saturday

Saturday

(via purplesardine)

Source: obvious-electricity

gowns im really sad about a break up. i know i don't want this relationship, but i cant help but think that i'll never find a relationship as good again or i'll never find someone who is as great. i'm scared of going thru a period in my life where i really have no friends and am really insecure but i don't want to be cruel by staying with someone who i dont think im in love with anymore. but its so gut wrenching to devastate someone you love by leaving them and its devastating to let go of them

Anonymous

that’s true, it is hard. it does hurt

you’re doing a good thing now, it just doesn’t feel like it

like a necessary amputation

but luckily it’s not an amputation at all

because this person seemed to be a part of you, or you of them, but that’s not the case. you are each your own person

you have been trimmed and replanted in new soil

your roots need time to sink in again

your branches need time to reach out again

you’ll be ok, it just takes time

"you’ll be ok, it just takes time" is not a useful thing to hear, i know

but that’s all someone can say to another person going through some shit

that and “i’m here for you”

everything takes time

if you are insecure you should look up some self-help books in the library or bookstore, and look into therapists in your area within your price range / that take your insurance / that are on your campus if you are still in school. this is an important investment in yourself. from there you can take the next steps in doing new things and meeting new people

it just takes time and work

(like anything worth doing)

and you are the most important person in your life … the most important project … the most crucial undertaking!

it’s a continual thing, like a garden!