hi gowns, i'm in a relationship with a loving attentive affectionate man who never fails to show/tell me how perfect i am to him. the thing is that i feel a little disconnected from him because i mostly feel loved by talking about things, and he is not a big talker / rarely wants to discuss things like his thoughts or feelings. he's not prone to delving deep like i am. it makes me feel like something is missing. should it be him who changes or should i just accept that i'll have to live w/o it?
What would you say to a guy who sexually harassed a girl at a paty and now he hates himself so much that couldn't even talk to any other girl for the last four years and who fells just like a monster for what he did and have no idea how to fix that mess years after it happened?
My [scattered] thoughts on Bong Joon-ho’s Snowpiercer. This was originally just a defence of the film’s ending—which I’ve seen widely criticised—because I think it’s brilliant and necessary and worth defending. But… then there’s everything else.
[major spoilers, of course]
I tried to make a few long asks but they all came out really silly! basically I was feeling very bad because of many stupid things I’ve been doing to myself over some years but, last night, I had in mind what I know about your life from reading the blog and it was something about the EXAMPLE you make, I started wondering if I could consider liking myself, making friends, thinking more about other people and not being so scared of the world that I shut it out 100% and the same night I felt more
"Mother why are you laughing and shaking in the supermarket line"
"Because no one did a fucking thing about global warming when i was young, and because we live in an unchecked capitalist country inflation just kept going up, and now this head of lettuce costs $40"
"Mother why are you crying now"
"I forgot the keys to the motorboat, we will have to swim home now"
*i hoist my youngest child on my shoulders, open the supermarket door, and head out into the I-5 river*
I think people confide in you, and ask you for advice, partly because you seem to give everyone a very thoughtful response, no matter what it is, and even if they may not totally agree with your opinions, or follow your advice to the letter, they are at least in some sense nourished by your kindness.
"Mother’s having one of her moods" — one of my children reports to another child
*all my children call me Mother in a New England accent, even though we will live in the crisis area that California will be ten years from now
i live my life between the couch and the bed and i want to have kids but also worry about being Mother and her many moods
(jokes are a part of that b/c all humor stems from the dissonance between being alive and knowing that we will all die (cf. freud, et al))
Is this an advice blog?
i wish i had a better answer, like i said, it reminds me of living in the united states during the civil war and having a cousin who would go off to fight on the confederate side, and you can be like, fuck no why are you doing this, but life is fucked up, i just don’t know. you can try to talk to her and tell her what you know but , in my experience, people are stubborn and i’m sure you’ve already tried, so at that point what do you do except cry, hope she doesn’t die, hope she comes around, hope your life amounts to something, think about all the misery in the world, i don’t know